That is the quote of the day. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be. So, for a little humor on this Monday, I am giving a collection of stupid crook stories.
There are some places where you just shouldn’t do certain things. Don’t wear a meat suit in a pirahna shop. Don’t let your pet ferret get some exercise on a crowded subway. Don’t bring crack to church. And don’t try to burglarize a police department’s K-9 kennel. According to the Associated Press, three people were caught trying to break into a building used by police as their K-9 dog kennel.
When police caught them in the act, they tried to run away. Mind you they are running away from police dogs. If only they were dogs themselves or didn’t have smells, they might have had a chance.
It gets even worse. One of the burglars was caught and got bit by one of the K-9 units on the bum. The dog mind you, not the officer. If a cop bites you on the bum, I’m sure there’s some kind of brutality or sexual harassment complaint you could file.
BOSTON (FOX25) — Police have arrested a man who they say robbed a New Hampshire bank on Saturday morning dressed as a tree. The man demanded money from the teller and took off. He was arrested at his home late Saturday night.
A guy dressed as a tree tried to rob a bank. He didn’t wear a tree costume. He taped branches to his body with duct tape, you know for authenticity.
This really doesn’t make much sense. I realize that’s the understatement of the year, but I’m talking about just the context of the situation. If there were trees in the bank, then he might been able to use camoflauge or mimicry. That’s just not common sense. That’s something I learned in the sixth grade in life science and I flunked the course.
But once again, you have to love the yukmeisters that work in our nation’s television newsrooms. The story talks about how the guy really went on a “limb” in this robbery, and they hope he doesn’t “stick” up any more banks. It’s good to know Norm Crosby hasn’t left our hearts.
Jermaine Washington picked the wrong people to rob yesterday, cops said. Washington, an ex-con with 33 prior arrests, hid in the bushes along a dimly lit path in Manhattan's Riverside Park just after midnight, intent upon holding up the next two people he encountered, police said. Unfortunately for Washington, those two people were a pair of armed and uniformed rookie cops. "It was stupid criminal tricks," said a police source. "The guy didn't even look to see who was coming."
A cannabis smoker has been arrested after complaining to police that he was sold bad weed.
Hans-Juergen Bendt, 52, from Darmstadt, lodged a complaint about his dealer with police after he sold him seven ounces of "completely un-enjoyable" hash.
Not so Stupid-
A convicted fraudster escaped from a high security jail in Germany after climbing into a cardboard box and posting himself to freedom.
Max Friedener, 28, escaped from prison in Darmstadt after hiding in the box in the mailroom. He escaped from the mail van as it was driving away.
Stupid again-
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.
Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
For all the ladies-
Forty-five-year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to the police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.
Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently after he attempted to replace a tubelike fuse in his Chevy pickup with a 22-caliber rifle bullet (used because it was a perfect fit). However, when electricity heated the bullet, it went off and shot him in the knee.
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because of a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.
I'll find some more for next week.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Challenge
I have now been challenged to ponder the meaning of life, soooo...
Neah, I haven't had that much time. It's Friday, so I am refusing to think too much.
Dandelions
In a field of yellow flowers, underneath the sun
Bluest eyes that spark with lightning, boy with shoes undone
He is young, so full of hope, revelling in tiny dreams
filling up his arms with flowers, right for giving any queen
Running to her, beaming bright while cradling his prize
A flickering of yellow light within his mother's eyes
She holds them to her heart keeping them where they'll be safe
Clasped within her very marrow dandelions in a vase
She sees love where
anyone else would see weeds
all hope is found,
here is everything he needs
Fathomless Your endless mercy, weight I could not lift
Where do I fit in this puzzle?
What good are these gifts?
Not a martyr or a saint, scarcely can I struggle through
all that I have ever wanted, was to give my best to You
Lord search my heart
create in me something clean
Dandelions
You see flowers in these weeds
Gently lifting hands to heaven, softened by the sweetest hush
a Father sings over His children, loving them so very much
More than words could warrant
deeper than the darkest blue
More than sacrifice could merit
Lord, I give my heart to you
Lord search my heart
create in me something clean
Dandelions
You see flowers in these weeds
My thanks to Five Iron Frenzy for a reminder of God's unfathomable love for his children. What good are the gifts that I bring to lay at Your feet. They are ashes, weeds, rubble, rags, failures, all utterly useless. But you recieve them as myrrh, gold and the finest gems. Father you know that I need you, more now than ever before. Please hold me in Your arms. Take me and mold me, clean me, restore unto me the joy of Your Salvation.
Hold on to Jesus
Hold on to Jesus, tell Him about everything.
Your dreams and your troubles; pure hearts desire one thing.
and mine is to know You,
mine is to break down and shatter to pieces,
and lose everything I've found.
I'm learning that nothing worth anything is cheap.
I'm learning the path is thin and the grade is steep;
and that the altars where we lay ourselves, will crack when tested
and that there's only One that turns our hearts to gold.
Hold on to Jesus, tell Him about everything.
Your dreams and your troubles; pure hearts desire one thing.
and mine is to know You,
mine is to break down and shatter to pieces,
and lose everything I've found.
I'm finding that I'm not who I once thought I was
I'm finding I'm powerless to obtain Your love
And that the only gifts I bring to You are rags and failures
and through a strange exchange You've made them myrrh and gold
Hold on to Jesus, tell Him about everything.
Your dreams and your troubles; pure hearts desire one thing.
and mine is to know You,
mine is to break down and shatter to pieces,
and lose everything I've found.
This is from my favorite group, The OC Supertones. I hope that this helps you through atleast one more day.
Neah, I haven't had that much time. It's Friday, so I am refusing to think too much.
Dandelions
In a field of yellow flowers, underneath the sun
Bluest eyes that spark with lightning, boy with shoes undone
He is young, so full of hope, revelling in tiny dreams
filling up his arms with flowers, right for giving any queen
Running to her, beaming bright while cradling his prize
A flickering of yellow light within his mother's eyes
She holds them to her heart keeping them where they'll be safe
Clasped within her very marrow dandelions in a vase
She sees love where
anyone else would see weeds
all hope is found,
here is everything he needs
Fathomless Your endless mercy, weight I could not lift
Where do I fit in this puzzle?
What good are these gifts?
Not a martyr or a saint, scarcely can I struggle through
all that I have ever wanted, was to give my best to You
Lord search my heart
create in me something clean
Dandelions
You see flowers in these weeds
Gently lifting hands to heaven, softened by the sweetest hush
a Father sings over His children, loving them so very much
More than words could warrant
deeper than the darkest blue
More than sacrifice could merit
Lord, I give my heart to you
Lord search my heart
create in me something clean
Dandelions
You see flowers in these weeds
My thanks to Five Iron Frenzy for a reminder of God's unfathomable love for his children. What good are the gifts that I bring to lay at Your feet. They are ashes, weeds, rubble, rags, failures, all utterly useless. But you recieve them as myrrh, gold and the finest gems. Father you know that I need you, more now than ever before. Please hold me in Your arms. Take me and mold me, clean me, restore unto me the joy of Your Salvation.
Hold on to Jesus
Hold on to Jesus, tell Him about everything.
Your dreams and your troubles; pure hearts desire one thing.
and mine is to know You,
mine is to break down and shatter to pieces,
and lose everything I've found.
I'm learning that nothing worth anything is cheap.
I'm learning the path is thin and the grade is steep;
and that the altars where we lay ourselves, will crack when tested
and that there's only One that turns our hearts to gold.
Hold on to Jesus, tell Him about everything.
Your dreams and your troubles; pure hearts desire one thing.
and mine is to know You,
mine is to break down and shatter to pieces,
and lose everything I've found.
I'm finding that I'm not who I once thought I was
I'm finding I'm powerless to obtain Your love
And that the only gifts I bring to You are rags and failures
and through a strange exchange You've made them myrrh and gold
Hold on to Jesus, tell Him about everything.
Your dreams and your troubles; pure hearts desire one thing.
and mine is to know You,
mine is to break down and shatter to pieces,
and lose everything I've found.
This is from my favorite group, The OC Supertones. I hope that this helps you through atleast one more day.
Global Worming
Yes that is spelled how I want it to be. I will go in to more detail later, but for now just a little snipit.
I will not argue that the current average global temperature has risen 0.6 degrees in the last 100 years. I will not argue that it may be caused by greenhouse gases. However...
Why have there been glaciers and rainforests in Wyoming?
Why is the current temperature so horrible?
Why was there a temperature drop at the beginning of the dark ages (When the world was falling apart)?
Why was there a temperature rise (yes, this is not the first time) at the beginning of the middle ages (aka the Age of Enlightenment)?
Why is there not more discussion on the fact that livestock cause more greenhouse gas than all of the vehicles on earth?
Why do I actually want a Hydrogen car? Well, this one is just because I think it would be really cool.
Does the fact that there is an increasing number of 98.6 degree heat sources on the earth have anything to do with it?
What happened to the report of our latest finding in the oldest ice core sample? Why has no one said anything about the fact that the plant life contained within could only survive if the earth's temperature was atleast 22 degrees warmer than what it is now?
If you fill a glass with ice then top it off with water, when the ice melts, does the glass overflow? Why will the landmasses of the earth flood if a little bit of the glacier's freeze?
Why are the outskirts of the Antarctic getting warmer, while the center is cooling? Doesn't this contradict the whole warming idea?
Why is some guy who helped develop the internet and lost an election the guru of global warming?
Why do some people have no personality?
Why has no one ever included with those horrific pictures of polar bears floating on a block of ice, the fact that polar bears regularly swim over 20 miles at a time, and can swim over 60?
As I said earlier, I will continue this at a later date, which will eventually include answers. Feel free to comment or question.
I will not argue that the current average global temperature has risen 0.6 degrees in the last 100 years. I will not argue that it may be caused by greenhouse gases. However...
Why have there been glaciers and rainforests in Wyoming?
Why is the current temperature so horrible?
Why was there a temperature drop at the beginning of the dark ages (When the world was falling apart)?
Why was there a temperature rise (yes, this is not the first time) at the beginning of the middle ages (aka the Age of Enlightenment)?
Why is there not more discussion on the fact that livestock cause more greenhouse gas than all of the vehicles on earth?
Why do I actually want a Hydrogen car? Well, this one is just because I think it would be really cool.
Does the fact that there is an increasing number of 98.6 degree heat sources on the earth have anything to do with it?
What happened to the report of our latest finding in the oldest ice core sample? Why has no one said anything about the fact that the plant life contained within could only survive if the earth's temperature was atleast 22 degrees warmer than what it is now?
If you fill a glass with ice then top it off with water, when the ice melts, does the glass overflow? Why will the landmasses of the earth flood if a little bit of the glacier's freeze?
Why are the outskirts of the Antarctic getting warmer, while the center is cooling? Doesn't this contradict the whole warming idea?
Why is some guy who helped develop the internet and lost an election the guru of global warming?
Why do some people have no personality?
Why has no one ever included with those horrific pictures of polar bears floating on a block of ice, the fact that polar bears regularly swim over 20 miles at a time, and can swim over 60?
As I said earlier, I will continue this at a later date, which will eventually include answers. Feel free to comment or question.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Ohhh, I'm into everything I hate!
As I am new to this, let me explain that I love music. I don't just enjoy listening to it, but I analyze almost every song I listen to. There are some groups that I just cannot stand to listen to, and others that everyone else hates, but I respect for one reason or the other. I'm saying this so that you know why I will often use a song's lyrics for my thoughts.
This comes from a group named Smalltown Poets. They are one of my favorite because you can feel their passion, and several of their songs require more thought than just stuff being laid out in front of you.
"I'm into everything I hate, my spirit is not moved, my members take the bait."
Why do we always grab on to things we know will hurt us. I know what God has said and as the song says, my spirit has no desire to sin. It is habit at times, and others, it's just stupidity. Immediately after I do something under the stupid category, I have the thought of "Where in the world did that come from. I didn't want that, and I've never wanted it before." (To all my peeps at home, don't worry, I haven't gone off the deep end, yet.) I am supposed to be a mighty man of valor, a prayer warrior, a light in a dark world, but right now I feel like I'm crammed into an already crowded closet, and the candle is taking more oxygen than I am. I am a stranger in a foreign land. I have yet to figure out why so many have moved back here. One of my coworkers (the only one that is a practicing Christian) said that he feels like its the new Sodom and Gomorrah, and the longer I'm here, the more I agree. If SA was ever destroyed, I'd move to the other SA in a heartbeat, or maybe South Padre. Yeah, that would be sweet, and God, I think I could really commune with you there. It's named after you, Father.
This comes from a group named Smalltown Poets. They are one of my favorite because you can feel their passion, and several of their songs require more thought than just stuff being laid out in front of you.
"I'm into everything I hate, my spirit is not moved, my members take the bait."
Why do we always grab on to things we know will hurt us. I know what God has said and as the song says, my spirit has no desire to sin. It is habit at times, and others, it's just stupidity. Immediately after I do something under the stupid category, I have the thought of "Where in the world did that come from. I didn't want that, and I've never wanted it before." (To all my peeps at home, don't worry, I haven't gone off the deep end, yet.) I am supposed to be a mighty man of valor, a prayer warrior, a light in a dark world, but right now I feel like I'm crammed into an already crowded closet, and the candle is taking more oxygen than I am. I am a stranger in a foreign land. I have yet to figure out why so many have moved back here. One of my coworkers (the only one that is a practicing Christian) said that he feels like its the new Sodom and Gomorrah, and the longer I'm here, the more I agree. If SA was ever destroyed, I'd move to the other SA in a heartbeat, or maybe South Padre. Yeah, that would be sweet, and God, I think I could really commune with you there. It's named after you, Father.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
First Post
Hello,
I just wanted someplace to put random thoughts that I have from time to time. The one that drove me to begin blogging, is the existence of Jesus. After reading a recent news story on AOL, I glanced through the comments on the bottom of the page to see what others were thinking. The story was loosely related to Christianity, and someone wrote blah, blah, blah, Jesus didn't exist, blah, blah, blah. I found this as a rather ridiculous comment for a few reasons.
Let me begin by saying I am not going to debate the godliness of Jesus for right now, just the stupidity of the comment that he doesn't exist. There are currently thousands of Jesus' south of the American border right now, and from what i understand, it was not exactly an uncommon name at the turn into Ano Domini. There is tons of non-biblical evidence that says there was a Jesus from Nazareth, born to Joseph and Mary, and descendant of Abraham and David. I do not have all the exact items in front of me, but I know this is much better outlined in The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. I have yet to find an historian that discounts the fact he existed. That is all for now.
I just wanted someplace to put random thoughts that I have from time to time. The one that drove me to begin blogging, is the existence of Jesus. After reading a recent news story on AOL, I glanced through the comments on the bottom of the page to see what others were thinking. The story was loosely related to Christianity, and someone wrote blah, blah, blah, Jesus didn't exist, blah, blah, blah. I found this as a rather ridiculous comment for a few reasons.
Let me begin by saying I am not going to debate the godliness of Jesus for right now, just the stupidity of the comment that he doesn't exist. There are currently thousands of Jesus' south of the American border right now, and from what i understand, it was not exactly an uncommon name at the turn into Ano Domini. There is tons of non-biblical evidence that says there was a Jesus from Nazareth, born to Joseph and Mary, and descendant of Abraham and David. I do not have all the exact items in front of me, but I know this is much better outlined in The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. I have yet to find an historian that discounts the fact he existed. That is all for now.
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