1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
4. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
5. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of wisdom and judgment.
6. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.
7. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as rewarding.
8. I am at one with my duality.
9. Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves in knots.
10. I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.
11. I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
12. Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
13. A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.
14. Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
15. I will no longer waste my time reliving the past; I will spend it worrying about the future?
16. The complete lack of evidence is the surest proof that the conspiracy is working.
17. Before I criticize a man, I walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.
Thanks to humormatters.com
Monday, December 31, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Last Holiday Ha-Ha
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religiouspersuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
-This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
-It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
-It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher,
Merry/Happy/Joyful RamaHanaKwanzmas
Tim and Esther
_______________________________________________________________
A Politically Correct Christmas Poem
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".
To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.
So...half of the reindeer were gone,
and his wife who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.
And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,everyone, everywhere...even you!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"
May we remember the reason for the season, the Prince of Peace.
Merry Christmas to all!
Vesele Vanoce
Mele Kalikimaka
Feliz Navidad
Yukpa
Danistayohihv
Joyeux Noel
Fröhliche Weihnachten
Mo'adim Lesimkha
Buon Natale
Idah Saidan
Pax hominibus
Christumas Mangalangalangal
Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom
Nollaig chridheil
Thanks to Humormatters.com and flw.com
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
-This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
-It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
-It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher,
Merry/Happy/Joyful RamaHanaKwanzmas
Tim and Esther
_______________________________________________________________
A Politically Correct Christmas Poem
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".
To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.
So...half of the reindeer were gone,
and his wife who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.
And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,everyone, everywhere...even you!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"
May we remember the reason for the season, the Prince of Peace.
Merry Christmas to all!
Vesele Vanoce
Mele Kalikimaka
Feliz Navidad
Yukpa
Danistayohihv
Joyeux Noel
Fröhliche Weihnachten
Mo'adim Lesimkha
Buon Natale
Idah Saidan
Pax hominibus
Christumas Mangalangalangal
Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom
Nollaig chridheil
Thanks to Humormatters.com and flw.com
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Never mind, how about...
OK, so all of the family that we are not doing much with has suddenly filled up our schedule this weekend. So, how about next Saturday, the 29th, would that interest anyone? We'll ask around tomorrow night, also.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Partaayy and more Ha Ha
First, who would be interested in a Christmas, End of School semester, Welcome Home super combination party at our house Friday, Saturday or Sunday night? Plenty of games and conversation, food, etc. The rest of the details can be worked out when we figure out who wants to come.
On With the Show
Subject: The Office Party
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't Be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are so short this time of year - or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will that work?Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I miss anything?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party
So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess-worshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party
People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party Vegetarians!?!?!?
I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your freaking salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now!
FROM: Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward Your cards to her at the sanatorium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. We hope that this change does not offend anyone.
On With the Show
Subject: The Office Party
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: Everyone
RE: Christmas Party
DATE: December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't Be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 2
RE: Christmas Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. Happy now?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 2 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating, drinking and sex during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are so short this time of year - or else package everything for take-home in little foil swans. Will that work?Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I miss anything?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 8
RE: Holiday Party
So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice...what do you expect me to do, a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the burning of sage by our "earth-based Goddess-worshipping" employees, but we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the band's breaks. Okay???
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
Date: December 9
RE: Holiday Party
People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO dress up like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or family feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's Day. Could we lighten up?
FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director
DATE: December 10
RE: Holiday Party Vegetarians!?!?!?
I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your freaking salad bar, including hydroponic tomatoes. But you know, they have feelings too. Tomatoes scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right now!
FROM: Teri Bishops, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward Your cards to her at the sanatorium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. We hope that this change does not offend anyone.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Holiday Ha-Ha
Since yesterdays was really good, but not that funny, I will try to make it up today.
Christmas Cake -- Real Good
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon Juice
Nuts
1 large bottle of favorite whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for the quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another tup.
Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl.
And chuck in tup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriber.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sif 2 tups of salt.
Or something.
Anything.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juish and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 gudrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Put bowl in cake tin.
Check the whiskey again.
Pour in rest of whiskey.
Druitcake guarantee tast reel good.
Verery relaxxing.
Good for strees.
Santa's Bad Day
The Birth of a Tradition
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, an irritable Santa trudged to the door.
He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Thanks to www.humormatters.com
Christmas Cake -- Real Good
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon Juice
Nuts
1 large bottle of favorite whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for the quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another tup.
Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl.
And chuck in tup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriber.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sif 2 tups of salt.
Or something.
Anything.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juish and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 gudrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Put bowl in cake tin.
Check the whiskey again.
Pour in rest of whiskey.
Druitcake guarantee tast reel good.
Verery relaxxing.
Good for strees.
Santa's Bad Day
The Birth of a Tradition
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, an irritable Santa trudged to the door.
He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Thanks to www.humormatters.com
Monday, December 10, 2007
Guess...
Wait for it...
Just a little longer...
Oh, make sure you have the sound where you can hear it...
Right about now, maybe...
Or now...
You definitely should have heard the chorus line by now...
YEAH!!!
To those who read my blog but are not familiar with me personally, I'll explain later.
To those who love me dearly, notice a theme in the first five songs?
Just a little longer...
Oh, make sure you have the sound where you can hear it...
Right about now, maybe...
Or now...
You definitely should have heard the chorus line by now...
YEAH!!!
To those who read my blog but are not familiar with me personally, I'll explain later.
To those who love me dearly, notice a theme in the first five songs?
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Evil Genius Continues
I was succesful in my first attempt. Thanks again, Jackson, for submitting your inquiry. Anyone else have a strange, off-the-wall, absurd, minute, grandiose, or any other adjective question? Dum-Dum wants Gum-Gum :)
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Thanks Jackson
Jackson,
First off, welcome to my strange and twisted world.
Your question: I have always wondered why certain hair turns gray earlier in life than other hair.
I shall do my best to answer this. I have to admit I was very intrigued by this question, then began to laugh as I read on. First thought I had: because there is no sunshine concerning the second part of your question, however, I know people that always wear hats, and still gre(a)(whatever)y quite easily.
Real Answers:
Dr. Desmond Tobin, professor of cell biology from the University of Bradford in England, suggests that the hair follicle has a “melanogentic clock” which slows down or stops melanocyte activity, thus decreasing the pigment our hair receives. This occurs just before the hair is preparing to fall out or shed, so the roots always look pale.
Moreover, Dr. Tobin suggests that hair turns gray because of age and genetics, in that genes regulate the exhaustion of the pigmentary potential of each individual hair follicle. This occurs at different rates in different hair follicles. For some people it occurs rapidly, while in others it occurs slowly over several decades.
In a February 2005 Science article (Nishimura, et al.) Harvard scientists proposed that a failure of melanocyte stem cells (MSC) to maintain the production of melanocytes could cause the graying of hair. This failure of MSC maintenance may result in the breakdown of signals that produce hair color.
There are other factors that can change the pigmentation of hair, making it lighter or darker. Scientists have divided them by intrinsic (internal) and extrinsic (external) factors:
Intrinsic factors:
Genetic defects
Hormones
Body distribution
Age
Extrinsic factors:
Climate
Pollutants
Toxins
Chemical exposure
My summary: So, possibly the fact that the hair on our head is exposed to the extrinsic factors much more than the other hairs is a possible explanation for our cranial hair turning gray more quickly.
Some hairs such as eyebrows and eyelashes are not regulated by androgens, while androgens stimulate axillary, pubic and beard hairs to grow and some scalp hairs to undergo miniaturization. The major circulating androgen is testosterone which is enzymatically converted by 5 a -reductase to dihydrotestosterone in the hair follicle. Also, in another section of this article, new cranial hairs are called vellus, while the hairs that have obtained color are called terminal.
My summary: The major circulating androgen is testosterone, which would then make it easier for the body to keep certain hairs healthier longer than other hairs. Also, goosebumps cause hair to grow, possibly speeding the cycle of growth, and therefore causing the cycles to expire more quickly. I think I get more goosebumps on my head, legs and arms than anywhere else, therefore resulting in those to turn gray more quickly.
If this didn't help, sorry. I will attempt to look for more answers if you are not satisfied.
Thanks to www.aad.org and http://www.loc.gov/rr/scitech/mysteries/grayhair.html
First off, welcome to my strange and twisted world.
Your question: I have always wondered why certain hair turns gray earlier in life than other hair.
I shall do my best to answer this. I have to admit I was very intrigued by this question, then began to laugh as I read on. First thought I had: because there is no sunshine concerning the second part of your question, however, I know people that always wear hats, and still gre(a)(whatever)y quite easily.
Real Answers:
Dr. Desmond Tobin, professor of cell biology from the University of Bradford in England, suggests that the hair follicle has a “melanogentic clock” which slows down or stops melanocyte activity, thus decreasing the pigment our hair receives. This occurs just before the hair is preparing to fall out or shed, so the roots always look pale.
Moreover, Dr. Tobin suggests that hair turns gray because of age and genetics, in that genes regulate the exhaustion of the pigmentary potential of each individual hair follicle. This occurs at different rates in different hair follicles. For some people it occurs rapidly, while in others it occurs slowly over several decades.
In a February 2005 Science article (Nishimura, et al.) Harvard scientists proposed that a failure of melanocyte stem cells (MSC) to maintain the production of melanocytes could cause the graying of hair. This failure of MSC maintenance may result in the breakdown of signals that produce hair color.
There are other factors that can change the pigmentation of hair, making it lighter or darker. Scientists have divided them by intrinsic (internal) and extrinsic (external) factors:
Intrinsic factors:
Genetic defects
Hormones
Body distribution
Age
Extrinsic factors:
Climate
Pollutants
Toxins
Chemical exposure
My summary: So, possibly the fact that the hair on our head is exposed to the extrinsic factors much more than the other hairs is a possible explanation for our cranial hair turning gray more quickly.
Some hairs such as eyebrows and eyelashes are not regulated by androgens, while androgens stimulate axillary, pubic and beard hairs to grow and some scalp hairs to undergo miniaturization. The major circulating androgen is testosterone which is enzymatically converted by 5 a -reductase to dihydrotestosterone in the hair follicle. Also, in another section of this article, new cranial hairs are called vellus, while the hairs that have obtained color are called terminal.
My summary: The major circulating androgen is testosterone, which would then make it easier for the body to keep certain hairs healthier longer than other hairs. Also, goosebumps cause hair to grow, possibly speeding the cycle of growth, and therefore causing the cycles to expire more quickly. I think I get more goosebumps on my head, legs and arms than anywhere else, therefore resulting in those to turn gray more quickly.
If this didn't help, sorry. I will attempt to look for more answers if you are not satisfied.
Thanks to www.aad.org and http://www.loc.gov/rr/scitech/mysteries/grayhair.html
Fire and Ice
Sounds really cool, huh? Well, it's just another article concerning global warming. Once again, I do not doubt that the current global climate is changing, but just the fact I don't believe it is an end of the world crisis. If it was, we would already be long gone.
http://www.businessandmedia.org/specialreports/2006/fireandice/fireandice.asp
http://www.businessandmedia.org/specialreports/2006/fireandice/fireandice.asp
Monday, December 3, 2007
more funny stuff
This turned out reeeeeally long, but still pretty good
conservaphobia: noun. The fear of the American conservative political movement, often based on unfounded stereotypes and distortions.
You might be conservaphobic if:
You've never really listened to Rush Limbaugh because you're already sure that you disagree with practically everything he's ever said.
You refer to liberal Catholics, Protestants and Jews as "people of faith" but conservative Catholics, Protestants and Jews as the "religious right" or "radical religious right". (Maybe you have a thing for alliteration too.)
You think all white Republicans are racists and all black Republicans are sellouts.
You are a champion of first amendment rights except in public school classrooms and in front of abortion clinics.
You're glad you're not a Republican because after all, they want to starve school children and senior citizens.
You actually think that "liberal" and "progressive" are synonymous.
In your opinion, a government donation to the poor is somehow more effective than yours would be.
You only listen to and respect the views of "open-minded" people who think like you do.
You blame society's problems on "religious fanatics" and "corporate greed", never on the irresponsible behavior of individuals.
You Know You're a Liberal ....
Added 12/09/99 -- from Steve
If you think Rob Reiner had to stretch to play the liberal in "All in the Family"
If you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counseling.
If you've spent no less than 30 years in the walls of academia and don't see how today could be too much different from the '60s.
If you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest this criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism.
If you use the term 'open-minded' and don't care that it can't be defined in absolute terms.
If you think only white people can be racist.
If Clarence Thomas made you sick, Bob Packwood made you protest, but Bill Clinton is a victim of partisan politics. Added before I started keeping track of when I added new items :-)
If you think that teenager's sexual behavior is uncontrollable, but hardened violent criminals should be released on parole after serving a cut sentence in a "correctional institution".
If you think Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson Lee are articulate geniuses but Justice Clarence Thomas, Dr. Alan Keyes and Dr. Walter Williams are dolts.
If you think Rush Limbaugh and Michael Reagan are mean spirited racists and promote hate crime but Maxine Waters, John Conyers and Louis Farakahn aren't and don't.
If you think that the Constitution is a living document and should be changed but the writings of Karl Marx are "written in stone".
If you think burning the United States flag should be Constitutionally protected but burning a cross should be outlawed.
If you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 30% from their paychecks is compassionate
If your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives.
If you believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt the children, but putting "Heather Has Two Mommies" or "Ask Alice" (on the internet) won't.
If you think that the American Dream could have only been accomplished in the '60s.
if you think that conservatives have no sense of humor then shudder at the idea of a Clinton joke.
If you actually do believe that Clinton doesn't know the definition of the words "alone", "is", or "correct".
If you believe that Columbus is a mean-spirit bringer of genocide, and never should have explored to the new world, which meant that no one would have religious or taxation freedom whatsoever.
If you think that the only way the tragedy in Littleton, CO could have been avoided was to restrict the access of the guns, two of which were bought on the black market.
If you actually think the multicultural movement of the '90s works better than organized religion.
If you don't want the Christian Right imposing their morality on you, but you want to impose big government on everyone else because they won't do the right thing.
Thanks to www.gargaro.com.
conservaphobia: noun. The fear of the American conservative political movement, often based on unfounded stereotypes and distortions.
You might be conservaphobic if:
You've never really listened to Rush Limbaugh because you're already sure that you disagree with practically everything he's ever said.
You refer to liberal Catholics, Protestants and Jews as "people of faith" but conservative Catholics, Protestants and Jews as the "religious right" or "radical religious right". (Maybe you have a thing for alliteration too.)
You think all white Republicans are racists and all black Republicans are sellouts.
You are a champion of first amendment rights except in public school classrooms and in front of abortion clinics.
You're glad you're not a Republican because after all, they want to starve school children and senior citizens.
You actually think that "liberal" and "progressive" are synonymous.
In your opinion, a government donation to the poor is somehow more effective than yours would be.
You only listen to and respect the views of "open-minded" people who think like you do.
You blame society's problems on "religious fanatics" and "corporate greed", never on the irresponsible behavior of individuals.
You Know You're a Liberal ....
Added 12/09/99 -- from Steve
If you think Rob Reiner had to stretch to play the liberal in "All in the Family"
If you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counseling.
If you've spent no less than 30 years in the walls of academia and don't see how today could be too much different from the '60s.
If you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest this criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism.
If you use the term 'open-minded' and don't care that it can't be defined in absolute terms.
If you think only white people can be racist.
If Clarence Thomas made you sick, Bob Packwood made you protest, but Bill Clinton is a victim of partisan politics. Added before I started keeping track of when I added new items :-)
If you think that teenager's sexual behavior is uncontrollable, but hardened violent criminals should be released on parole after serving a cut sentence in a "correctional institution".
If you think Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson Lee are articulate geniuses but Justice Clarence Thomas, Dr. Alan Keyes and Dr. Walter Williams are dolts.
If you think Rush Limbaugh and Michael Reagan are mean spirited racists and promote hate crime but Maxine Waters, John Conyers and Louis Farakahn aren't and don't.
If you think that the Constitution is a living document and should be changed but the writings of Karl Marx are "written in stone".
If you think burning the United States flag should be Constitutionally protected but burning a cross should be outlawed.
If you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 30% from their paychecks is compassionate
If your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives.
If you believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt the children, but putting "Heather Has Two Mommies" or "Ask Alice" (on the internet) won't.
If you think that the American Dream could have only been accomplished in the '60s.
if you think that conservatives have no sense of humor then shudder at the idea of a Clinton joke.
If you actually do believe that Clinton doesn't know the definition of the words "alone", "is", or "correct".
If you believe that Columbus is a mean-spirit bringer of genocide, and never should have explored to the new world, which meant that no one would have religious or taxation freedom whatsoever.
If you think that the only way the tragedy in Littleton, CO could have been avoided was to restrict the access of the guns, two of which were bought on the black market.
If you actually think the multicultural movement of the '90s works better than organized religion.
If you don't want the Christian Right imposing their morality on you, but you want to impose big government on everyone else because they won't do the right thing.
Thanks to www.gargaro.com.
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