more funny stuff

This turned out reeeeeally long, but still pretty good

conservaphobia: noun. The fear of the American conservative political movement, often based on unfounded stereotypes and distortions.

You might be conservaphobic if:
You've never really listened to Rush Limbaugh because you're already sure that you disagree with practically everything he's ever said.
You refer to liberal Catholics, Protestants and Jews as "people of faith" but conservative Catholics, Protestants and Jews as the "religious right" or "radical religious right". (Maybe you have a thing for alliteration too.)
You think all white Republicans are racists and all black Republicans are sellouts.
You are a champion of first amendment rights except in public school classrooms and in front of abortion clinics.
You're glad you're not a Republican because after all, they want to starve school children and senior citizens.
You actually think that "liberal" and "progressive" are synonymous.
In your opinion, a government donation to the poor is somehow more effective than yours would be.
You only listen to and respect the views of "open-minded" people who think like you do.
You blame society's problems on "religious fanatics" and "corporate greed", never on the irresponsible behavior of individuals.

You Know You're a Liberal ....
Added 12/09/99 -- from Steve
If you think Rob Reiner had to stretch to play the liberal in "All in the Family"
If you think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counseling.
If you've spent no less than 30 years in the walls of academia and don't see how today could be too much different from the '60s.
If you think the criminal has more rights than the police who arrest this criminal, unless the crime is sexual harassment, or racism.
If you use the term 'open-minded' and don't care that it can't be defined in absolute terms.
If you think only white people can be racist.
If Clarence Thomas made you sick, Bob Packwood made you protest, but Bill Clinton is a victim of partisan politics. Added before I started keeping track of when I added new items :-)
If you think that teenager's sexual behavior is uncontrollable, but hardened violent criminals should be released on parole after serving a cut sentence in a "correctional institution".
If you think Maxine Waters and Sheila Jackson Lee are articulate geniuses but Justice Clarence Thomas, Dr. Alan Keyes and Dr. Walter Williams are dolts.
If you think Rush Limbaugh and Michael Reagan are mean spirited racists and promote hate crime but Maxine Waters, John Conyers and Louis Farakahn aren't and don't.
If you think that the Constitution is a living document and should be changed but the writings of Karl Marx are "written in stone".
If you think burning the United States flag should be Constitutionally protected but burning a cross should be outlawed.
If you think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 30% from their paychecks is compassionate
If your idea of hell is having to mind your own business and not meddle in other people's lives.
If you believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt the children, but putting "Heather Has Two Mommies" or "Ask Alice" (on the internet) won't.
If you think that the American Dream could have only been accomplished in the '60s.
if you think that conservatives have no sense of humor then shudder at the idea of a Clinton joke.
If you actually do believe that Clinton doesn't know the definition of the words "alone", "is", or "correct".
If you believe that Columbus is a mean-spirit bringer of genocide, and never should have explored to the new world, which meant that no one would have religious or taxation freedom whatsoever.
If you think that the only way the tragedy in Littleton, CO could have been avoided was to restrict the access of the guns, two of which were bought on the black market.
If you actually think the multicultural movement of the '90s works better than organized religion.
If you don't want the Christian Right imposing their morality on you, but you want to impose big government on everyone else because they won't do the right thing.

Thanks to www.gargaro.com.